The Self Reliance Mesa

A few months ago, my daughter couldn't sit up, stand, walk, talk or do her own taxes. Now, she can sit up - apparently that's good progress for an infant. She can even feed herself,

...sort of.

We all start life like that, helpless, relying on others to do everything for us. Over time, our natural, evolutionarily programmed development makes us a little less pathetic. We become better able to look after ourselves, less dependent on others, more self-reliant.

We learn to walk, talk, and some of us even learn to do our own taxes. But not all of us. 

A lot of us seem to hit a self-reliance plateau. We amble along its surface until everything starts to go into reverse and suddenly, we need others to look after us again. A graph of self-reliance vs age might look like this desert mesa:

or maybe this:

What seems to happen is we reach a point in our lives where we become content with our abilities. We become complacent about our ability to look after ourselves. We accept the division of labour that society presents us with.

"Why learn to cook curry when I can pay other people to do it for me?"

Of course, some people make an effort to increase their self-reliance. They learn how to cook delicious meals for a fraction of restaurant prices. They learn to repair their toaster, their bike, or their pc. They learn how to change a light switch or bathroom tap. Some people do way more and build their own kitchen extensions. Some people, I've heard, even cut their own hair.

What makes them different?

Remember when you were a child and, after great struggle, you finally tied your own shoe laces? 

Try to remember the sense of accomplishment you felt then. 

Try to remember the warm glow of pride that filled your heart at that moment.  

You probably wanted to show everyone what you could do now.  

You probably wanted to tie their laces for them as well.

Wouldn't it be awesome if you could recapture that feeling? 

Wouldn't it make you happier if the experience of conquering new challenges continued throughout your life instead of tapering off in your 30s?

As we mature and become more competent, our self-reliance should increase exponentially. After all, once you've learned to tie your shoelaces, it's easy to learn how to tie a ribbon, then a sailor's knot, then perhaps a balloon animal. 

The graph of self-reliance vs age should really look more like this: 

Ok, maybe the drop at the end shouldn't be quite so steep.

As far we as we know, we're the only conscious beings in the universe. The key difference between us and all other creatures on earth is our ability to make conscious decisions; decisions to actively affect and change the world around us.

By living on auto-pilot, by letting others do everything for us, by never expanding our circle of control we're really not that different from a pet dog. A dog might be well fed, well groomed, and loved, but in essence it's just a slave. A slave to its instincts and a slave to its human owners.

I plan to nurture my daughter's self-reliance. I want her to be in charge of her life rather than being a victim of incapability. Being a role model and increasing my own self reliance should help hers grow. As my wife repeats to me whenever I complain about the world, "Be the change you want to see."

Life should end on an upward, rather than a downward, slope. Wouldn't it be nicer to take off from the upward ramp and soar to your death, rather than tumble down the rocky mesa into a second infancy?